Understanding Insecurity and Fear Based Habits

INSECURITY AND FEAR BASED HABITS 

At the base and core of almost all our negative emotions is fear.  Just as I spoke about in my last post Taking Care of You, everything begins with self love to cure our insecurities!  So, on the other side of this would mean fear is the core cause of our issues.  It may not seem like it on the surface, but fear plays a large role in more ways than one in our daily habits and decisions.

As women, there are so many things we have bottled up for years!  There are so many emotions and reactions that have turned into habits more than anything else.  It is when we unpick, uncover and dig beneath the surface level BS - that we see the inevitable fear living inside all of us.

Here are a few questions that I would love for you to journal out, if you feel called to.

• What is your vice?  Your bad habit? - Is it drinking? Overeating?  Scrolling screens for hours on end? Shopping?
• What is the emotion that comes up when you think about giving up this habit?
• What if I asked you to commit to giving this vice up?

When you take a moment to actually think about the emotions behind these feelings, it is very different than just a quick - "Oh, No.  I am not giving ___ up it keeps me sane."

SO WHAT ARE WE REALLY SAYING?
Fear of not having your vice is what is in play here.  It is easier to stay in the fear, then it is to unmask what is beneath the surface. 

If I give up the one thing that actually temporarily takes away my "fear" (insert your vice of choice here) then people may see the real me, or I will have to find other ways to spend my time and that is way too scary!  So, instead it is easier to stay mediocre.  Live my life in comfortable misery.

WHAT FEAR IS SAYING.
Dig deeper into your habits and think about what you are actually saying...

Fear = I am not good enough, and if I stop drinking, using, shopping, obsessing about food - I will then allow people to see that I am not really good enough to be loved.  And not being loved is the ultimate fear, and worst possible thing that could happen!  So, if I lose my "buffer" or vice which serves me and keeps me just far enough away from others, so that if I get hurt - it won't be as bad.  Therefore, I continue my cycle of using my vice to keep me in a fear based circle of mediocrity. 

WE KNOW THIS IS CRAZY!
This sounds nuts when you read it out loud!  It sounds as though we have all lost our minds.  Even though these are the beliefs and "stories" that are buried deep into our subconscious thinking, we believe them to be true.  And until it is all out in front of us in some way, it is hard to truly understand why we do the things we do.  It is hard to understand why we can't seem to find fulfillment, or happiness.

You are always making choices.  Whether you consciously or unconsciously know it.  It is time to face these fear based habits, beliefs and stories head on!

You can choose differently.  You can have a life you love.  You can have a business you love.  You can have a relationship you love.  Where you will never find the answers to your fulfillment issues, is in the bottom of a bottle, bag, or behind a screen.

"Every positive change in your life begins with a clear decision that you are either going to do something or stop doing something."

Interested in working 1:1 together?  Take a look around at my mindset and business coaching services!  Or fill out the form below and let's chat to see if we would be a good fit! 

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